self-pity: meaning, definition, pronunciation and examples
C1Formal, Informal, Literary, Psychological
Quick answer
What does “self-pity” mean?
Excessive, self-indulgent sorrow or sadness about one's own difficulties or misfortunes.
Audio
Pronunciation
Definition
Meaning and Definition
Excessive, self-indulgent sorrow or sadness about one's own difficulties or misfortunes.
A state of dwelling on one's own problems with a sense of victimhood, often to the exclusion of perspective or action; can imply a lack of resilience or a tendency to seek sympathy.
Dialectal Variation
British vs American Usage
Differences
No significant difference in meaning or spelling. Usage patterns are identical.
Connotations
Identical negative connotations in both varieties.
Frequency
Comparably frequent in both UK and US English.
Grammar
How to Use “self-pity” in a Sentence
[Subject] + verb (e.g., wallow, indulge) + in + self-pity[Subject] + is/are + adjective (e.g., full, consumed) + with + self-pityself-pity + verb (e.g., overwhelmed, paralysed) + [Object]Vocabulary
Collocations
Examples
Examples of “self-pity” in a Sentence
verb
British English
- He tends to self-pity whenever he faces a setback.
- She was self-pitying for weeks after the breakup.
American English
- He's just self-pitying instead of looking for a solution.
- Stop self-pitying and get back to work.
adverb
British English
- He spoke self-pityingly about his lost opportunities.
- She sighed self-pityingly.
American English
- He muttered self-pityingly about his bad luck.
- She looked at the rain self-pityingly.
adjective
British English
- His self-pitying attitude was getting on everyone's nerves.
- She wrote a long, self-pitying letter.
American English
- It was a self-pitying rant that lasted an hour.
- He dismissed her complaints as self-pitying nonsense.
Usage
Meaning in Context
Business
Rare. Used to criticise a lack of professional resilience, e.g., 'His self-pity after the failed project is hindering the team.'
Academic
Used in psychology, literature, and sociology to analyse character or behaviour.
Everyday
Common in advice or criticism, e.g., 'Stop with the self-pity and do something about it.'
Technical
Primarily in clinical psychology as a symptom or behavioural pattern, sometimes linked to depression or narcissism.
Vocabulary
Synonyms of “self-pity”
Strong
Neutral
Weak
Vocabulary
Antonyms of “self-pity”
Watch out
Common Mistakes When Using “self-pity”
- Misspelling as one word 'selfpity' or two words 'self pity'. The hyphenated form is correct.
- Using it to describe justified grief or temporary sadness, which dilutes its critical meaning.
FAQ
Frequently Asked Questions
In common usage, yes. It describes an excessive, unproductive focus on one's own troubles. Brief, proportionate sadness is not typically labelled self-pity.
Informally, yes (e.g., 'Stop self-pitying!'), but it's more common as a noun. The adjective 'self-pitying' and adverb 'self-pityingly' are standard derived forms.
Sadness is a general emotion. Self-pity is a specific, prolonged state where one feels sorry for oneself, often with an element of self-absorption and perceived injustice.
Not a direct antonym, but concepts like 'self-compassion' (treating oneself with kindness without indulgence) or 'resilience' (recovering from difficulty) are positive alternatives.
Excessive, self-indulgent sorrow or sadness about one's own difficulties or misfortunes.
Self-pity is usually formal, informal, literary, psychological in register.
Self-pity: in British English it is pronounced /ˌself ˈpɪti/, and in American English it is pronounced /ˌself ˈpɪdi/. Tap the audio buttons above to hear it.
Phrases
Idioms & Phrases
- “Wallow in self-pity”
- “A pity party”
Learning
Memory Aids
Mnemonic
Think of SELF-PITY as SELF + PITY. You are giving PITY to your SELF, which is seen as indulgent.
Conceptual Metaphor
SELF-PITY IS A LIQUID ONE WALLOWS IN / SELF-PITY IS A BURDEN ONE CARRIES.
Practice
Quiz
Which phrase is a common idiom related to 'self-pity'?